10 things Self-optimised people never do
20 May 2019 | beando_admin
Here are 10 things Self-optimised people don’t do, to avoid tying themselves into knots:
- They don’t get tangled up in their comfort zone. Your comfort zone is little more than an increasingly opaque and enclosed bubble of habitual thoughts, learned behaviours, feelings and embedded emotional judgments. Self-optimised people are always wary of this cloying zone that holds you back, while filtering and distorting the view of the world. We know outside of the comfort zone is where the magic happens. Increasing your self-awareness reveals how your self-created comfort zone locks you into repeated mindsets, actions and behaviours. It’s a challenge to move out of the comfort zone but after a while the Self-optimised people notice that the day-by-day comfort zone becomes lighter and more transparent.
- They never let fear hold them back. It’s a cliché, but there really is nothing to fear but the thought of fear itself. It’s okay to be scared, apprehensive and fearful. These are part of the mind-body’s self-defence mechanism. But at work, most of that comes from a mindset that pushes one’s experience out of the mind-body and into the future. Anticipation and expectation of what might happen, what could go wrong or worse still, a fixation on what one’s future reward might be, is the source of fear and worry. Self-optimised people stay in the present. They just do for its own sake and never, ever work from expectation, wants or desires. This keeps them focused on the task at hand and in the flow. It’s one of the key tactics of the Self-optimised.
- They don’t doubt. Self-optimised people seem to know what to do moment-to-moment. They never doubt they can meet the needs of the project or assignment at hand. This doesn’t mean that everything they do is a success or turns out well. Self-optimised people persevere because for them there is no such thing as fail or pass, good or bad, success or failure. This enables them to avoid fear of failure or doubt by maintaining an even equilibrium and focus on what they are doing. They start as they mean to go on and never let others’ negativity or their own inner critic push them off track.
- They never crave acceptance. Self-optimised people know what they are doing. They don’t judge or compare themselves with others. When you are operating at fully-optimised capacity there is no need to compete because that just wastes energy and creates an unwanted distraction. Similarly, Self-optimised people never feel the need for external confirmation from others to confirm their identity, ability or commitment. They know the ego is useful but not the source of who they are. They know who they are, what they are for and what they need to do and then work from there.
- They can’t be miserable. Self-optimised people never have mood swings, they are never angry or rude. This makes them a joy to work with. Because they have discovered how to be present and in the moment they convey a sense of calm and poise. When they flow in work they know the joy of being and doing — and it shows. There is never a hidden agenda with the Self-optimised because that is just another distraction holding you back.
- They don’t mix with negative people. Emotional and creative intelligence needs to be cared for and grown with great skill and attention. Self-optimised people will always draw the right people to them to help nurture these essential human capacities. The biggest threat to its growth is negativity which brings in its wake doubt, anxiety and stress. Self-optimised people are naturally open, empathetic and connected. However, this makes them very sensitive to the emotions and energy of others. It can be exhausting if the source is negative people around you. Self-protection is the key.
- They never expect. Self-optimised people avoid expectation. This doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy the fruits of their efforts, it just means that ego-driven sense of entitlement, status and gratification are not really part of the overall plan. For them, being Self-optimised and the knowledge and empowerment that comes with it is its own reward. This new distinctive outlook will set you free.
- They are never closed off. When people close their minds to new information or opinions, it’s typically because they find them threatening. They think that admitting that someone else is right means that they’re wrong, and that’s very uncomfortable for people lacking emotional intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people aren’t threatened by new things; they’re open to new information and new ideas, even if it means admitting that they are wrong.
- They don’t live somewhere else. The Self-optimised person lives and works right here, right now on planet Earth. It’s a straightforward insight but if you are living solely in your head, you are very likely living in the past or the future (which for many is about 95 percent of the time). In which case, you are really unable to affect any real transformation on yourself or in the world because right in the present is where you are needed. The Self-optimised knows how to affect change, knows how to work with the system and that means living right in the here and now, released from expectation both personal and from others’ wants, status and reward. Living in the present is liberating.
- They never lose their joy. Self-optimised people know that the source of happiness and joy has very little to do with external events, circumstances or other people. When your feeling of achievement and satisfaction come from comparing yourself with others, you are no longer in control of your wellbeing, performance or happiness. Because Self-optimised people are resilient, focused, independent and centred they are no longer influenced by others negative or even positive views and opinions. They just are. Knowing that brings a contentment that comes from insight deeper than intellectual knowing.
Becoming whole, present and Self-optimised is the single most important thing you can do to empower your work, career and life. You can be the architect of your own amazing, vibrant and fascinating world. The good news is that you can create it now. We believe SOW provides a good model to explore. It requires an open mind, a little effort and commitment but it’s most definitely worth it.
Learn more about the Self-optimisation @ Work programme.